<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A burning star in Eiselcross by Fate_of_Fayalite</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29150844">A burning star in Eiselcross</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fate_of_Fayalite/pseuds/Fate_of_Fayalite'>Fate_of_Fayalite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode 123, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:15:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29150844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fate_of_Fayalite/pseuds/Fate_of_Fayalite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Essek Thelyss &amp; Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A burning star in Eiselcross</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Caleb knew he had been avoiding Essek. There was just something about him that made him feel something. He was too similar, it was dangerous. He couldn’t let his feelings get in the way when the Nein obviously needed him levelheaded.</p>
<p>Suddenly there was no other option, they needed Essek’s help. And Caleb yearned for his mind, for him, more than ever. He wasn’t sure that he would survive facing the Tomb Takers, but if he did, he wouldn’t let him slip away so easily.</p>
<p>Seeing how happy Jester is with Fjord made him realize that she would have pushed him to be a better man, to forget his past. But he’s not, and he can’t. Essek was content with all of him, even the broken and power-hungry pieces that he wouldn’t ever be able to shake.</p>
<p>When Caduceus said that Essek wanted to help, that he was a guiding star, Caleb forgave him again. Essek hadn’t done anything that Caleb wouldn’t have in the same situation. Knowledge is power and it’s easy to catch yourself in sticky situations before you have people you care about. He wondered if Essek would have made the same choices if he met him earlier.</p>
<p>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>They barely scraped by. Standing in the antimagic field made Caleb feel more useless, more vulnerable, than he’s felt in a long time. It was like no matter what he tried; he could just be standing there helpless watching his friends die. He never would have forgiven himself if anther one had fallen. They are trudging through the snow – some polymorphed, some not. The Tomb Takers must surely be hot on their heels, and mad as hell. The polymorph wouldn’t last much longer, and Caleb wasn’t sure if any of them had the arcane power left to recast it. If only they could get to Essek, they might make it.</p>
<p>Caleb wondered what he would say to him. He had so much he wanted to say, to show him. He longed to feel those warm elongate fingers brush his arm, as they leafed through books. He wanted to show Essek the tower, the room of possibility. He wanted to sit there for hours with him, losing track of time while discussing the intricacies of the magic of it. He wanted Essek’s arcane mind to review all of the information they had come across, to see if they together, could put the pieces togther.</p>
<p>A worried though popped into his head. He had forgiven Essek, but would Essek forgive him? Caleb had become too sure of his abilities that he didn’t stop to really think before reading Lucien’s book. He had just dived straight into a nightmare that was now permanently marked on his shoulder. Now Caleb was bringing this nightmare to him. Would Essek forgive him for it? He closed his eyes, giving them a momentary break form the cold wind around him, and pictured those soft purple fingers outlining the eye on his shoulder. Could Essek help remove it? Would Caleb even want it removed or could he use it as a window into the world of powerful mages that seemed to have near limitless ability? Did Essek feel the same way as him, or had Caleb just been reading everything wrong? He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.</p>
<p>As the wind ripped through him, pulling his coarse red hair free from its ties he pictured their reunion. Should he act uninterested, tough or hurt? Caleb preferred to hide everything inside and only reveal small pieces when he was sure he couldn’t be hurt, that it wouldn’t tear him apart. But earlier, he was almost torn apart, they all were. Was now the time to come out of the shell? It seemed that keeping things to himself was hurting others just as much as revealing them. Caleb knows that he has a fire burning within him and the flames seem to be a bit brighter when Essek is around. Caleb had long learned to keep it hidden until the right time; the right person was there. If he engulfed them in his flames, would Essek burn with him, or extinguish his flame? Stars, he knows, are simply big balls of burning gas…</p>
<p>A few more hours travelling through the jarring cold and maybe, hopefully, he’d find out…</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>